The last thing you want when getting a divorce in New Jersey is any unnecessary conflict or drama. Unfortunately, your spouse may not share this sentiment.

If you have concerns over whether your divorce settlement will be reasonable, you should talk to a family law attorney who has experience with divorce proceedings. Here are some things you should watch out for.

Excessive alimony

If you have been supporting your wife financially, her attorney may paint a picture of financial dependence when you divorce. However, over time she will likely gain an income of her own or find someone else who can help support her. Make sure your alimony is reasonable in scope.

Assets and debts

Major assets often have debts associated with them. If she wants to take an asset while leaving you responsible for the debt that comes with it, this should be a major bargaining issue.

Minimizing disputes

Minimizing disputes during a divorce can feel like walking a tightrope. On the one hand, you do not want to give away your rights. On the other hand, you want the divorce process to work as smoothly as possible. A family law attorney can help diffuse and depersonalize some of the conflict. Mediation can be a tool to help do that.

Mediation occurs when a third party who is neutral to both sides helps them work toward a reasonable settlement of the common property shared between the spouses. By helping work through the process in an orderly way, without involving a court, there is less expense and often a better outcome.

Avoiding the need for modifications

Sometimes you need a divorce modification no matter how well you plan. But overly optimistic estimates of income or a misguided effort to be “generous” that puts you in financial hardship will increase the likelihood that you will end up paying an attorney again down the road. Avoid this by keeping your settlement as reasonable as possible in the first place.

Being amicable does not mean being a push-over. Plan to get a divorce settlement that is fair to both parties, including you.